Oh kumo-san...

Do you ever have one of those days? You know the kind? Extremely motivated and empowered? Like "I am Woman, here me roar" days. Where you know you are cool and hip and just awesome?

Yeah, me neither, but it would be nice, huh? ;-)

Anyways, I am a huge shrieky child today, apparently. And it's all kumo-san's fault. I HATE kumo-san.

Today is going well. It's boring as ususal (Thursdays usually are, I don't know why). It's not a bad day, not a great day, just another day to get through before moving home. I leave for work a little bit early to get a soda on the way over and get here without much incident.

There was some super slow lady in front of me that was driving me CRAZY! She was going 50 kilometers per hour. 50! Thats about 31 miles per hour! Ok, imagine having to drive 30 miles an hour from the Valley on Hightower to Blairsville with NO PASSING LANES. That's annoying. Like...eye explodingly annoying. However, no wrecks or even scares (and I did get to pass her in a passing zone at the end of my trip) so it wasn't that bad. Just a test of my patience.

Then...I get to Kisuki and it all comes apart.

I go to unlock the doors and I see through the glass that Kumo-san is just sitting in the middle of my floor staring at me. *shudder* Waiting for me! He's HUGE, too. Seriously. HYOOOOGE. He has to be the size of a half dollar if not bigger. Ick ick ick.

What do I do? I can't squish him. He's pure evil, but I always feel terribly guilty for squishing anything bigger than a fly. It's just icky and Chris' job. I was thinking I could wait for Mr. Takeda to come and squish me, because...you know...he's a dude and that want the men-folk are for. But that's a bad idea because as soon as Mr. Takeda walks in, he will pass Kumo-san and send him fleeing under furniture. Also, shrieking like a little howler monkey is probably not that good to do in front of a paying student.

So it was up to me to CATCH Kumo-san. Ooooo...terrible idea by the way. I did think smartly though, by turning on my new Linkin Park CD to drown out the screaming.

I arm myself with a styrofoam bowl and sneak up to Kumo-san (who is still sitting in the middle of my floor, as pretty as you please) and toss the bowl at him. Dumb! It's a styrofoam bowl so it of course throws as well as a paper plate. This also scares Kumo-san causing him to JUMP.

Squee! Cue me running in circles screaming because he jumped AT MY FACE (not really, he hopped like a half-inch off the floor...but still). He also scooted forward a couple of inches, no doubt mocking me. Hmph.

So I shuffle around and pick up my stoopid bowl and try again. This time, my idea is to drop the bowl on Kumo-san and hope that I'm so ninja fast that he won't see me coming. Would have worked too...except I approached Kumo-san from the front and he saw me coming. >.<>.<;;

Round 3. Attempt to drop the bowl on him from the back. Hah! Genius! Except...I'm slow. I just startled him again and sent him fleeing AND HOPPING again towards the desk with the computer on it. Grrr...oh of course I shriek again and bounce a little, but no running in circles this time. Take THAT Kumo-san.

Round 4. KO! I quickly drop the little bowl on him before he can really settle. HAH! Gotcha! He's there right now (causing my skin to crawl a bit...guuuuh...blehck). I will just leave him there for James tomorrow. He can dispose of Kumo-san.

Actually, I feel guilty because I think he will die if I leave him trapped in the bowl. I should do the catch him on paper thing and set him outside but that's too scary. As of now, he's still under the bowl, which is under a box of tissues and a shoe. He's not escaping on my watch. Maybe I can take the bowl off and let James know there is a huge spider running around in the classroom that he has to get rid of before I come back. Of course, taking the bowl off means possibly being jumped on by Kumo-san. And that's not going to happen. Decisions, decisions.

Ick. My little girly heart can't take it!

What WILL become of Kumo-san? Tune in later to find out!

kumo = spider in Japanese for those not in the know. San = respectiful title. Kumo-san means Mr. Spider.